I'm sorry. I accidentally ordered the apocalypse

March 04, 2016 2 min read

I'm sorry. I accidentally ordered the apocalypse | Countess Ablaze

Last night I was minding my own business, ordering a pizza via a well known pizza delivery app who bases their name upon a table top game.

I just wanted a gluten free spicy pepperoni pizza and a can of coke. It's been a hard week, what's a little pizza and coke gonna do?

The app is simple enough to use and when your order is placed, you get this brilliant timekeeping schedule of how they're processing your order.

Well I started to joke with my husband about how menacing it looks. "It's like ordering the apocalypse. You can make an app for that!"

So he points out given that it's a one-time use app, it's not much of a business venture but could you imagine it, ordering the apocalypse and watching via your mobile phone app? When the apocalypse is out for delivery, you know there's no turning back.

Waking up this morning and Manchester looks like this. We have ONE INCH OF SNOW. Close all the schools. Protect your children, protect your loved ones. The end of the world is nigh!

 

Reader, I accidentally ordered the apocalypse. I just meant to order a gluten free spicy pepperoni pizza. Oh, and a coke.

 

How to make the apocalypse more comfortable when you're a knitter and/or crocheter:

1. Layer up.

You probably already have loads of woolly items to wear. Put them all on. All of them. Layers are good. It doesn't matter if your project is still on the needles, you just need to keep warm at this point. As crafters, we've been preparing for this day. It's going to be alright.

Wear ALL the shawls.

 

2. Bury yourself in stash.

Put your stash to good use, bring it all out of hiding and throw it all on the bed or the bath or somewhere that will contain it all. Dive into it. Wool is warm, acrylic will be no good as you'll be sweaty. If the apocalypse has come, lets be classy about this. Cuddle up to the multitude of skeins you have lurking in your cupboards. You'll be glad you bought those crazy variegated skeins now.

 

The studio is open today and tomorrow if you want to join me in the apocalypse. The coffee machine is on.

Once again, sorry.

 

~ Countess Ablaze



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